Once Upon A Huh?
by kamikaze2007
Summary: Shikamaru hates everything Medieval. But what happens if he's suddenly thrust into the world of knights and dragons? Rated T for language and later violence. Takes place in Shippuden shortly after Hidan and Kakuzu arc.
1. I'm too smart for this

**A/N: Hey there! Thanks to a friend of mine, I got an inspiration to write a Naruto fic based on Shikamaru and Medieval stuff. It's gonna be fun. :D Oh, just a warning, I use the word "Medieval" a heck of a lot in this chapter, so be prepared. Anyway, forgive stray grammar boo-boos and keep reading!!**

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Chapter 1: I'm Too Smart for This...

Shikamaru closed the book he was reading and sighed. He was standing in the Konoha library trying to find something interesting to read that wasn't a technique scroll. No luck. He was in the mood for some good fiction that DIDN'T include vampires or medieval times. And every single book in the fiction section was either Twilight or about the knights of the round table! Not even the manga section had anything interesting. He finally decided to leave before someone saw him next to the section that he re-named Crap. Too late.

"Shikamaru?! You READ?!" Oh no. It was the blonde idiot again.

Naruto, after receiving a stern "Shh!" from the rest of the library's visitors, walked over to Shikamaru.

"What do you want?" Shikamaru asked annoyed.

"I came here to read something good." Naruto replied whispering.

"Well, don't try anything there." Shikamaru sighed pointing to the fiction section. "It has nothing but vampires and knights in it."

"Knights? As in the armored dudes who use swords?" Naruto asked.

"Duh." Shikamaru replied.

"Sweet." Naruto said. "I love me a good medieval story."

"You don't even know how to spell 'medieval,' idiot." Shikamaru smirked.

A sweat drop formed itself on the back of Naruto's head. "Oh, whatever." Naruto gave Shikamaru a punch to the back and walked into the fiction section. Shikamaru sighed again and walked outside, walking down the street to the Nara household.

"I've given up on fiction." Shikamaru said to himself stretching his arms behind his head. "All vampires, dragons, and medieval knights. Jeez, it's all so monotonous. I'm too smart for this crap."

"Hey, Shikamaru!!" Ino yelled to him from down the street. "How are you?" She asked when she reached him.

"Eh." Shikamaru shrugged. "I don't know. I'm just bored and want something interesting to read."

"Uh, go to the library, duh." Ino laughed.

"Tried it. All their books are the same over there." Shikamaru sighed. "It's actually quite tiring.

"Oh, yeah. The world of fiction is starting to get into medieval stuff lately." Ino said looking towards the library. "Interesting, if you ask me."

"I didn't." Shikamaru retorted.

"Oh, you're such a buzzkill, Shika!" Ino bounced. "Haven't you always dreamt of being in the world of dragons and knights?"

"Not really." Shikamaru admitted.

"That's why you're boring!" Ino said. Then she clapped her hands together and held them up to her cheeks. "I've always dreamt of being in a medieval world of dragons, waiting inside a tall, tall tower waiting for my knight in shining armor to arrive and save me!" Her eyes now sparkling. Shikamaru coughed. Ino blinked and looked back at her teammate. She giggled and a sweatdrop formed on the back of her head. "I'm, uh, just trying to say that the medieval thing is fun. You should try it. One book and you'll wish it was all real."

"Yeah right." Shikamaru said.

"C'mon, we'll get you a book!" Ino said grabbing Shikamaru's arm.

"Wait, no, I--" Shikamaru started. Ino rocketed off back to the library with Shikamaru in tow, hitting the ground. At the library, Shikamaru dusted himself off while his teammate picked a book.

She came out of the fiction section holding three books under her arm. "Here ya go." She handed two books to Shikamaru. "One is called 'The Magical Adventures of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table."

"Sounds like the author was high when he wrote this." Shikamaru said examing the black-clad knight standing on a cliff holding a sword up to the sky adorning the cover.

"Shut up." Ino spat. "The second one is called 'The Dragon's Rampage.' It's about a group of dragons ravaging a country so a knight has to single-handedly beat them all." She handed a slightly smaller book to Shikamaru. It had a silver armored knight facing down a dragon on the cover.

"Uh, huh... and the third one?" Shikamaru asked.

Ino hugged the book. "This is mine." She said. "It's just about a knight saving a damsel in distress."

"Figures." Shikamaru rolled his eyes. Ino punched his shoulder, shot him a dirty look, and walked off. Shikamaru sighed and picked up his books. He walked home trying to hide the books from anyone who would criticize him for reading this crap. If Asuma were still alive, oh dear, what would he say? Shikamaru blinked. "I almost forgot." He turned and started walking to the apartments. He knocked on the door and a familiar tall, red-eyed woman answered the door.

"Shikamaru, why am I not surprised?" Kurenai asked him. "You really should stop checking up on me like this. You're starting to seem obsessed."

"Sorry, but I promised Asuma that I would protect you and your baby." Shikamaru said looking at Kurenai's slightly enlarged stomach.

"Well, that doesn't mean daily check-ups." Kurenai shook her head. "Go home, read a book or something, get a date even, I don't care. Just think about something else okay?"

"Hahaha okay fine." Shikamaru laughed.

He turned and started to walk away before Kurenai called to him, "That King Arthur book is really good!"

"Awww! You too, Kurenai?!" Shikamaru nearly fell over from bewilderment. He walked away from Kurenai's laughs mumbling to himself angrily. "What a...dare I say it? Drag!" He groaned. He finally reached home and fell over on his bed. He picked up the two books and examined their page numbers. "Hmmm, 526 combined pages, I should get through these rather quickly." He popped open the rampaging dragons book, the smaller of the two. The book was so unbelievably packed with descriptions that it took poor Shikamaru two and a half hours to read all of it when he originally planned on taking a half hour. "That was so much worse than I thought." Shikamaru sighed. "And my opinion is still unchanged. Medieval themes suck. Next one." He opened the King Arthur book and got to reading it. He started this particular book at around nine thirty. It was past midnight when he was finally done with it. He clapped it closed and threw the book to the stand by his bed. "Oh my god!" He shouted. He fell back on the bed and closed his eyes. "I never want to have anything to do with medieval times ever again." He said. He quickly drifted to sleep. Little did he know, he was about to have a LOT to do with everything medieval...

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**A/N: So there you go, the first chapter to this fic. Forgive it's shortness, I struggle with long chapters.... -sweatdrop- Anyway, review! Many thanks. **


	2. What Am I On?

**A/N: Hey there! If you're reading this, that means someone's interested in more than one chapter! Which also mean this story just might be better than I thought! Anyway, enjoy chapter two of my Naruto-rific Medieval tale.**

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Chapter 2: What Am I On?

All was black. Suddenly, a female voice pierced the darkness. "Good sir knight..." Nothing happened. "Good sir knight, wake up." Shikamaru groaned, not realizing what he was hearing. "Good sir knight." The voice said getting stern. Finally, after a good few seconds, the voice yelled. "Wake up, damn it!" Then Shikamaru felt a pointed toe slam against his gut.

"Auuuugh!" He grabbed his side and rolled over. "What the hell?" He opened his eyes. It was stunningly bright out, so he had to adjust his eyes. When he did, he saw a Blonde haired girl standing above him. "I-ino?" At least, her face looked like Ino's. but she was wearing a big, bright pink dress. Her head was topped with a tall pink hat pointed at the top. But what he didn't understand the most was this: judging by the kick she gave him, she was wearing....high heels? Ino never wore high heels!

Ino crossed her arms. "One must never refer to a princess in such a way, knave!" She scolded. Yep, it was definitely Ino.

"Knave? Princess? What the...?" Shikamaru looked around. He was in a field, just outside a tall brick wall with a moat around it. He and Ino were the only people there and they were accompanied by a few tall trees and small animals. "Where am I?"

"Oh, don't act so dumb." Ino said. "You know where you are. The kingdom of Konoha. My kingdom!" She put her hands on her hips proudly and added a silent "Almost." to herself.

"Uh, huh..." Shikamaru said. "Are you playing a prank on me?"

"Prank?" Ino questioned. "Good sir knight, are you implying that I would stoop to such levels as to 'prank' you?" She asked with air quotes around prank.

Okay, something was up. Ino NEVER passed up an opportunity to pull a good joke on someone. Either this wasn't Ino, or she was acting really well... "Please stop calling me 'good sir knight.'" Shikamaru finally groaned. He finally stood up and noticed a weight on his back. He looked over his shoulder and saw a hilt sticking up. He grabbed it and pulled it out. A full size sword came out of his back! Or, a sheath on his back, but still, Shikamaru dropped the sword and stepped back. "How the hell did that get there?" He yelled.

"Good sir knight, I would appreciate it if you didn't use obscenities in my presence." Ino said. "And that is your sword Kage. Named so after our capital city. Do you not remember?" Shikamaru looked down at his clothes. Instead of his usual clothes, he was wearing a torn brown shirt and baggy white pants. Below those on his feet were brown moccasins.

"Remember?" Shikamaru asked. "I've never been here before in my life!" He said examing his new outfit.

"Don't be silly, sir Shikamaru, now come!" Ino commanded.

"Not now thanks, I'm exhausted." Shikamaru joked.

Ino raised an eyebrow at him. "Just come to the castle with me, my father wants to see you."

"Father?" Shikamaru asked. "As in, king?"

"Ye olde, duh!" Ino said. "Now come!" She grabbed Shikamaru's wrist, and, much like last chapter, ran with him dragging behind to a drawbridge. She let go of Shikamaru as they crossed the bridge. Beyond the bridge was a big bustling town, with medium sized buildings all over. Shikamaru saw a tall castle over the horizon and guessed this was the capital city of Kage Ino mentioned earlier.

"So what does the king want with me?" Shikamaru said crossing his arms behind his head.

"You will see soon enough." Ino told him. They approached a huge castle made of pure white stone. Shikamaru looked on with awe as Ino started walking faster. "Hurry up, good sir knight." She called back. Shikamaru snapped out of it and followed her closely. They entered the castle into a huge rounded room filled with banisters, suits of armor and red carpet. At the end of the hall was a big wooden door with a fire symbol on it. Shikamaru guessed this was the entrance to the king's throne room. They opened the door and revealed another big hallway with the same decorations, but at the end were small steps leading to two huge throne which were occupied with two people. Shikamaru gasped at the sight of the king's face.

"ASUMA?" He yelled pointing.

"That's king Asuma to you." Asuma's bearded face reprimanded. He was dressed instead of a jonin vest, in a big robe and a big sparkly gold crown. He was frowning solemnly. He raised an eyebrow and Shikamaru got the hint. He bowed and looked back up. "Better." Asuma was now smiling heartily like he normally did.

"Not quite." The woman in the queen's throne said. "I think you missed the proper greeting, Sir Shikamaru." Shikamaru looked at the queen. She had dark hair and pure red eyes accompanying the big robe over her enlarged stomach and a smaller, but still as showy, crown.

"Oh, uh, sorry, Kur-I mean, Milady Kurenai." Shikamaru bowed his head and opened his mouth, hoping the correct greeting came out.

"No need." Asuma said. "Now-"

"Um, pardon me, King Asuma..." Shikamaru interrupted. "But, may I ask one question?"

"Proceed." Asuma nodded.

"What am I on?" He asked with a face as dark as if he just told Asuma his pet goldfish Flippy died.

"Excuse me?" Asuma asked.

"What drugs am I on?" Shikamaru asked with a louder voice.

"Drugs?" Asuma asked. "That sounds like a knave slang term for leeches. Are you ill?"

"I hope not..." Shikamaru said starting to get dizzy. He must have been. Seriously, he was seeing his dead sensei sitting on a thrown with a crown! Was he in heaven? No, Kurenai and Ino were there too... What the hell was going on?

"I hope not also, sir knight." Yet another female voice sounded. Ino groaned and out of a doorway slightly to the left of the thrones appeared another woman in a big bright orange dress. She had a tiara on and dirty blonde hair. Temari smirked and walked over to Shikamaru. "After all, one of the candidates for future king can't get ill." She said throwing her arms around him and squeezing.

"What do you need, sister Temari?" Ino asked.

"I overheard the conversation." Temari spat not loosening her grip on Shikamaru. "Thought I'd come in too, seeing as I AM the oldest princess, and therefore next in line to be queen."

"Indeed, but if your mother produces a boy..." Asuma said waving an arm in Kurenai's direction. "He will automatically be the next heir to our throne." Temari frowned.

"But, daddy, we had this conversation before. Sir Shika is in the running with nine other candidates to be my king." She said tightening her grip around Shikamaru's neck.

"Uh, ugh, I..." Shikamaru tried to say.

"Please refer to a knight as sir. You are not high enough in power to talk so far down to him." Kurenai lectured.

"When will I be?" Temari said letting go of Shikamaru and stomping her foot. Shikamaru, meanwhile, fell in a heap on the floor.

"When our next little sibling is born." Ino said. "You know that, sister. Assuming of course that it's a sister."

"Shut up!" Temari snapped. "I was talking to mother and father, not you."

"But she is right, Temari." Asuma said.

"Can I go now?" Shikamaru said from the ground. He was taken aback at his current position. In the running to be Temari's husband? He needed to get out of here.

"Oh, sorry good sir knight, I forgot about you." Asuma said.

"Thanks..." Shikamaru sighed.

"Stand, sir knight!" Asuma's voice boomed. Shikamaru stood up and dusted himself off. "You have an assignment. In a fortnight's time, Princess Temari will choose who will become her husband and king if her next sibling is indeed a girl. If you want to stay in those rankings, you will complete this mission."

"Yessir." Shikamaru said. _'Temari's husband? Uggggh.'_ He thought.

"You must go with another knight and infiltrate and scout the enemies base." Asuma said.

"Enemy base?" Shikamaru asked.

"Yes. The kingdom of Sand has been slowly moving on their way here for the last few months. We've stopped them a couple times, but unless we know more about them, we will fall to them. You're assignment is to disguise yourselves as knights from their kingdom and infiltrate."

"Who will I be working with?" Shikamaru asked.

"Sir Choji, of course." Asuma said. Temari rolled her eyes. "You two are of course, our best knights."

"Okay sir, yes sir." Shikamaru bowed his head.

"Dismissed!" Asuma said. "Go to your residence and prepare, you two set out early tomorrow."

Shikamaru stood up and turned to leave before....

"Let me escort you out, fair knight!" Temari grabbed onto his arm. If her feet were off the ground, she would literally have been hanging off his shoulder.

"I have a question, before I go." Shikamaru said turning his head to Asuma. "Why does she choose between knights? Isn't it usually, I dunno, other princes?"

"Yes..." Asuma said. "But Temari desperately wanted to pick from our finest knights. And we couldn't say no if we wanted any time of relaxation."

_'And by relaxation, you mean producing another baby in desperate hope that it's a boy, right?'_Shikamaru sighed and turned his head back.

"Finest knights!" Temari parroted cheerfully. She buried her face in Shikamaru's shoulder sleeve and they walked off.

"I'll come too!" Shikamaru heard Ino yell from behind. She latched on to Shikamaru's other arm and they all three walked out of the castle.

"Can you two get off me?" Shikamaru asked.

"No!" They both said in unison.

Shikamaru sighed. "Why me?" He murmured.

Once they reached a small hut, Ino and Temari let go of Shikamaru's arms. "See you tomorrow, Good sir Shika." Temari said. She kissed his cheek and skipped off. Once she was out of ear shot, Ino groaned.

"Ugh, she's so disgusting." Ino grumbled. "Don't be fooled by her lovey manner, she just wants to be queen."

"I believe you." Shikamaru said. Yep, that sounded like Ninja world Temari. "So, uh, I have no idea where I should go tomorrow."

"Don't worry, I'll take you and Choji to the town you need to go to before I head back." Ino said reassuringly

"Thanks, I- Princess Ino..." Shikamaru said.

"Just call me Ino." She smiled and walked off.

Shikamaru once again sighed. He walked into his house as he saw the sun was setting. He sat on a makeshift straw bed and closed his eyes. Then, he followed up on a habit he had started since Asuma died. Talking to himself. "This is trippy man. I'm suddenly in a place where I'm a knight, and in running to be husband to one of the most power hungry women I've ever met? This is crazy... It must be a dream. Yeah. Once I go to sleep in the dream, I'll wake up in real life. Yeah, everything will turn out okay...." Then he drifted off to sleep.

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Shikamaru opened his eyes and he was standing in a wide area with purple and blue stripes everywhere. Imagine it like this: It looked like the inside of a cup of Trix yogurt. "What the hell? This isn't real life." He said. Then he heard an extremely faint voice call out to him.

"Shikamaru..." It said.

"Huh?"

"Shikamaru...." It was getting quieter.

"Who's there?" Shikamaru looked around and saw a dark figure in the Trix yogurt patterns.

"You have a pur......" It said before it all started disappearing.

"A what?" Shikamaru called out. Then, all of a sudden, his dream Trix cup disappeared. He shot up from bed panting. "What the...." He looked around. It was still the hut he fell asleep in last night. "This can't be a dream." He said. He sat there for a few minutes and slapped himself hard. "Nope. Not a dream..." Then he remembered yesterday. "That means I might have to marry Temari!" He fell backwards in bed and swore he never would get out. He was wrong.

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**A/N: I'm ending the chapter there! Ha! Anyway, despite my jerkiness, please review! I just love those little buggers.... And by buggers, I mean reviews, of course! What were you thinking?**


	3. Whoville?

**A/N: Hey readers! It's me again, and I'm finally deciding to update this story again! Woo hoo! Anyway, read, review, enjoy, all that jazz.**

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Chapter 3: Whoville?

Shikamaru fell backwards in bed and swore he never would get out. He was wrong. For the minute he swore that, a crash was heard. He looked up to see Temari, who had kicked down his door with her high-heeled foot. "Wake up, sir Shika!" She said in a sing-song voice. Shikamaru slowly got up with a groan. Temari looked at him confused. "You're not in your armor yet? Well, you won't need it for this, come on!" She literally grabbed him out of his bed by his wrist and dragged a half-awake Shikamaru through the capital city to the castle.

"Why do people like dragging me around?" Shikamaru groaned between impacts between his face and the ground. When they reached the throne room from yesterday, a fa-er, chubby red-haired man stood in front of the two thrones looking back at Shikamaru, who Temari dropped on the ground next to him.

"Hey." He greeted as Shikamaru got up and dusted himself off.

"Hi Choji." Shikamaru held his hand up.

"Ah, good to see you decided to come, Sir Shikamaru." Asuma said leaning back in his throne. He looked a little more relaxed and tired than the previous day. Kurenai's throne was empty. Shikamaru figured she was stuffing her face. "I hope you had a good rest."

_'Oh yeah.'_Shikamaru thought sarcastically. _'I only had a trippy Trix cup dream and had a crazy chick kick down my door.' _He sighed. "So what are we going to do for this mission exactly, King Asuma?"

"You are to infiltrate the enemy camp and gather info that we may use against them." Asuma explained. "You will need to be in the signature armor the Sand knights wear in order not to be detected. Luckily, Temari has somehow obtained some armor for you two to wear."

"Yes, father!" Temari chirped. She scurried out of the room through the door she entered through last night. Shortly after, Ino walked out rubbing her eyes. Shikamaru noticed she wasn't wearing her big hat this time and had a white dress with random flower patterns on it.

"Are the knights leaving already?" She asked.

"Indeed they are." Asuma said. "They must leave early if they hope to infiltrate the enemy camp on time."

"Oh, okay." Ino said waking up a little more. "I promised I will escort them to the city they must go to, so I shall get dressed now." She said turning around.

"Are you sure you want to escort them?" Asuma asked. "I'm sure we can send another knight."

"No, it's fine." Ino said disappearing in the doorway. Almost immediately, Temari walked in followed by two servants carrying armor.

"Here's the armor you requested dad!" She sang. She snapped her fingers and the servants handed each knight their respective suit.

"Thanks, man." Choji said taking his. He inspected it closely. "Say, princess, why did you get these?"

Temari blushed. "Well, no reason. I just liked the look of the armor, and the sand knights are so handsome..." She trailed off.

"Be careful..." Asuma warned sternly. "You may be accused of treason if you don't watch yourself."

Temari snapped out of her trance. "O-of course daddy. Besides," she wrapped her arms around Shikamaru's neck. "They are nothing compared to you, brave knight." She smiled at him.

"Uh, huh..." Shikamaru said, hoping for an excuse to get out of there. Luckily, Asuma granted that wish.

"Okay, the two knights may get suited while Ino gets ready to escort you to your destination. Go home and prepare and meet back here in fifteen minutes." Choji and Shikamaru left for their separate huts and got suited up.

In his hut, Shikamaru struggled trying to figure out how to put the armor on. He would have been there all day, but he remembered that the amazingly descriptive King Arthur book practically gave him a step by step guide on how to put on armor. The Sand armor was brown and was made to show-off any muscles the knight wearing it may have. Unfortunately, Shikamaru had few of said muscles, so the armor was slightly too big for him. It also had shoulder plates that curved into sharp spikes and the shoes were pointed at the ends. If these kicked someone in the right place, he could give up on kids forever. With a sigh Shikamaru walked out of his hut and to the castle. "If it weren't for Asuma being here, I wouldn't be doing this." He mumbled. When he reached the castle again, Choji was in the same place he was twenty minutes ago and Kurenai had resumed her position in the throne. Standing in between the thrones was Ino in a traveling cloak that was probably made to hide her royal face. _'They must have as much trouble with paparazzi in this world than in our world...'_Shikamaru thought.

"You're late." Kurenai scowled.

"Please don't blame him milady." Choji said. "The sand armor is more difficult to put on than our armor."

"Then why were you right on time?" Kurenai asked suspiciously.

"I had no problem putting them on because this is too big for me, so I just slipped in." Choji explained cringing under Kurenai's suspicious gaze.

_'A suit too big for Choji?' _Shikamaru thought. _'Either the suit belonged to a REALLY ripped or a REALLY fat guy...'_

"Either way..." Asuma sighed. "We need to get you two moving quickly. Luckily for us, the Sand army is a group of slobs who wake up at half past 1 in the afternoon."

_'lucky bastards...' _Shikamaru thought. "Okay fine. Let's go." He finally sighed.

"I agree." Ino said. "We need to move."

"Wait up sir Shika!" Temari chirped before running into the throne room. "Here's a good luck present from me." She pulled Shikamaru into a kiss. Shikamaru's eyes widened as he tried to get away. Finally, after about a minute that seemed like forever, Temari let him go and he gasped for air. She skipped away through the door. Shikamaru sighed and turned to Ino, who he noticed was dark red. He didn't know if this was out of anger or something else, but he felt like if he asked, his head would get ripped off like a piece of wet paper.

"Let's just go." Ino stormed out of the castle with Shikamaru and Choji following closely behind.

"Good luck good knights!" Asuma yelled as the throne room doors closed behind the two knights and the princess. They walked through the capital city quickly and quietly. Luckily very few people were out and about to give the princess trouble. Shikamaru kept a good five feet behind Ino from the sheer evil aura he could feel emanating off her.

When they were safely out of the city and earshot of anyone, Ino wheeled around to face the knights. Namely, Shikamaru. "Hey!" She yelled. "Next time you wanna make out with your girlfriend, don't do it in front of us and make us all sick!" Something told Shikamaru "us" meant "me."

"It's not my fault, I-" Shikamaru tried to say.

"No! No excuses!" She turned around and continued storming through the countryside.

"Sorry man." Choji whispered to Shikamaru. "You got it rough."

"I don't even know what's going on..." Shikamaru groaned.

"Oh come on. We all know you and Temari are crazy for each other. I think Ino's just jealous."

"Me? And Temari? No way." Shikamaru said crossing his arms. "I don't like her."

"Oh? Are you more interested in say... Ino?" Choji smiled. "Scandalous!"

"What?" Shikamaru had to try not to yell. He blushed deeply. "N-no!" He stammered.

"Whatever." Choji laughed.

"Are you two coming or not? Hurry up!" Ino chided from up front.

"S-sorry!" Choji said catching up. Shikamaru kept his distance fuming. When he finally felt that his ears weren't warm anymore, he caught up to Ino. Finally they reached a small town with a group of small buildings and a small street. No one was walking around, so the town was either still sleeping, or evacuated.

"Welcome, good sir knights, to Hamville!" Ino said.

"Whoville?" Choji asked.

"No, Hamville." Ino said.

"Hamville?" Shikamaru asked. "Why is it called that?"

"Mainly because it makes raises all the kingdom's livestock and exports meat." Ino explained. "But it's also named because the author will use any suggestions someone gives him. He's whipped like that."

Shikamaru could have sworn he heard a voice yell "I resent that!" but shrugged it off.

"Okay...weird name, but whatever." They reached the town and he noticed a big pasture with a whole lot of cows. He nodded toward them, as if acknowledging them. Hey, he was in a world he didn't believe in yesterday, if cows could talk back to him, it wouldn't come as a surprise. All of a sudden, he heard a loud yelling from one of the buildings.

"Crap..." Ino said trying to hide her face in the cloak.

"SIR SHIKAMARU!" The voice yelled. Then a familiar blonde idiot ran up to him.

"Oh great, it's Naruto..." Shikamaru sighed.

"Hey sir Shikamaru." Naruto greeted. "I'm Naruto, the town scribe."

"Scribe?" Shikamaru asked. "Can you even spell scribe?"

"Shut up." Naruto frowned. He patted his dirty unkempt brown cloak and pulled out of it a piece of scroll and a feather pen. He looked like he wanted to write something. "So, Shikamaru, tell me, how do you feel stepping into this humble town of Hamville?"

"Like someone put me on too many drugs..." Shikamaru retorted.

Naruto nodded and started scribbling on his scroll. "Too...many...How do you spell leeches?"

Shikamaru sighed. "Let me take a look." He looked at Naruto's scroll. "Uh, Naruto? There's no B in leeches..." Then something caught his eye. "My name is not Pineapple head!"

"Uh, knights?" Ino said. "We really need to be going now." She rushed them on.

"Hey, that voice is familiar..." Naruto said. "I think I've heard it before..."

"Crap..." Ino said again.

"Yeah! You're the princess!" Naruto yelled. "I MUST get a word with you. Please? Just a little interview?" Ino groaned as Naruto continued bugging her for an interview. She finally had enough and kissed Naruto's cheek. Naruto blushed and fainted. Shikamaru blushed as well for some reason and tried to say something, but Ino rushed them away. After some running through the town, Shikamaru found himself looking up at a hill.

"The sand army is just over that rise." Ino explained. "This is as far as I can take you. Good luck." She scurried away. Choji and Shikamaru looked up at the hill before climbing it.

"Well, that was interesting." Choji said. "You watched your girl kiss another man." He punched Shikamaru in the shoulder.

"Oh shut up..." Shikamaru spat. They reached the top of the hill and his eyes widened. They looked down the hill-side facing opposite of Hamville at a huge camp. There were big tents dotted all over the place and small tents littering the rest of the hillside. "Holy crap..." Shikamaru said. He knew this army was too big to fit in the capital city of Kage and the mission suddenly became more urgent. "I REALLY hope we aren't discovered..." He mumbled.

"Yeah." Choji agreed. "Let's get down there quickly. We don't want to be spotted away from the camp." So the two knights ran down the hill. No sooner had they reached camp a voice boomed throughout the camp.

"Alright, you lazy slobs!" The voice yelled. "Get the hell up! We need to get ready and moving." Then a man in his armor walked toward Shikamaru and Choji. Shikamaru saw the man's face and gasped silently. The man put one hand on each of the knights shoulders and laughed. "See? These two fine knights are all ready." He looked Shikamaru directly in the face. Shikamaru had to struggle not to faint. "Extra food privileges for you!" He said and walked off. Shikamaru was shocked. He had just seen the face of the king and general of the Sand kingdom. A man with combed grey hair and deep purple eyes. His armor was bigger and grander than the other knight's and he held a huge red weapon on his back.

He stuttered his name madly while Choji just looked at him. "You know this guy?"

Shikamaru nodded and continued stuttering. For the face he looked into was the face of his sensei's killer. The immortal Akatsuki member Hidan!

To Be Continued!

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**A/N: GASP! What a twist! I know Hidan isn't part of the Sand village, but I wanted to include him in some way and I thought general of the opposing army would fit nicely. And that is just one of the many shocking plot twists I have planned! -evil laugh- Anyway, I'll leave you alone now. **


	4. The Sand Prince

**A/N: Hey! It's finally time for chapter 4 of Once Upon A Huh? A lot of future events are set up in this chapter, and new characters are met! So without further ado, enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

Chapter 4: The Sand Prince

Shikamaru stared at Hidan, the general of the sand army as he walked away. He figured he'd meet more medieval versions of friends from his time, but he never thought he'd see Hidan of all people! Hidan started barking random orders and Shikamaru turned to Choji. "Dude, we _gotta _take him down!"

"What? But we only have to gather info."

"We could know _everything _about this army, it doesn't matter! This guy is very tricky and this army is way too big for ours to handle."

"Y-you know the general?" Choji asked.

"I, um, know him. Kind of." Shikamaru stuttered, thinking Choji would treat him like a crazy person if he heard about Shikamaru's situation. "Look, I'll tell you later, but now, we need to find a way to kill the general!" Shikamaru didn't realize he was being so loud until he heard a low, teenage voice.

"You're planning a coup de etat?" Shikamaru froze. He turned to see a boy a little taller than him with bushy red hair. He recognized this person, but he couldn't put his finger on it.

"G-gaara?" Shikamaru finally asked.

"Yes, I am Gaara, prince of the sand kingdom." The boy said bowing. Shikamaru was taken aback. He guessed the jinchuuriki weren't in this world or something, because Gaara looked way different. the normal dark circles around his eyes were now just bags, Gaara had red eyebrows, and his kanji scar on his forehead was gone. "So, back on topic. You're planning a coup?"

Shikamaru started sweating. "Us, A-a coup? Haha! That's funny, man!" Shikamaru started laughing half-heartedly.

"No, don't worry, I won't report you to king Hidan." Gaara said. "You see, I'm planning one too." He started whispering.

"A-against your father?" Choji asked.

"Um, let's meet in my tent first so no one will overhear us. Gaara led the two knights into a tent. The tent was dark red inside and had Gaara's armor laying on the floor. Gaara sat on a carpet and Shikamaru and Choji sat in front of him. "Okay, now I can explain things to you." he said. "I'm not planning a coup against my father. You see, my father was the king of the sand kingdom, but when he died, Hidan took the throne forcefully. I should be the rightful king, but the only people who know that are me, Hidan, and now, you two." He smiled, which is something Shikamaru had never seen Gaara do.

"So you're bitter that he took the throne, and now you want your rightful place as king." Shikamaru summarized.

"Yeah." Gaara said. "I didn't want to tell anyone because I was afraid they'd report me to Hidan, but now I know you two are trustworthy." Then he glared. "You ARE trustworthy, aren't you?"

"Of course!" Shikamaru said. "We, uh, joined so we could kill Hidan." Choji looked confused. Gaara nodded.

"Good. Now, I think I want to kill him when he least expects it."

"That's the best choice, but it would be too predictable. He's a king, so he should know every tactic an assassin could possibly use." Shikamaru said.

"Yeah, good point." Gaara said.

"So, what tactic do we use?" Choji asked.

"I know exactly what to do." Shikamaru smiled. "But it will take me a while to get everything worked out. Assuming things work here the same way they do..." He trailed off, deciding to contain the rest of that thought in his head. Choji and Gaara looked at each other confused. Shikamaru snapped out of his thoughts. "Oh, um, sorry about that..." He laughed nervously. Then they heard Hidan start yelling again.

"Everyone report to me!" He barked. "I have a very important announcement!" Shikamaru looked around the tent and shrugged. Everyone gathered around Hidan, who was standing on a heightened pedestal. He looked around. "I'm too lazy to call roll, so I'm just going to assume everyone's here." He shrugged. Shikamaru let out a silent sigh of relief, while Hidan continued. "Now, we are perched above this town with the wierd name." He accented this with a point behind himself. "Now, we shall attack in a few hours. Then, my genius plan will be carried out." Hidan? Genius? Shikamaru never would have thought. "Now, go prepare yourselves! Three hours on the dot!" Hidan bellowed. "Whoever isn't ready by that time is going to taste my scythe in their ass! Dismissed." Hidan jumped off the pedestal and everyone scattered.

"Okay, time to suit up." Gaara said. He sighed and walked off to his tent.

"Hey, Shikamaru..." Choji whispered. "Why did you tell him we joined the army? We infiltrated it..."

"Well, we can't tell him that!" Shikamaru whispered back. "We don't know if he hates us as much as the other sand knights do."

"Oh yeah, that makes sense." Choji said.

Shikamaru nodded. "Yeah. We can't tell anyone about our mission until we're convinced we'll be safe."

"So, uh, what do we do now?" Choji asked.

Shikamaru shrugged. "Play along, I guess. Just give me enough time to formulate my plan."

"Got it." Choji nodded.

* * *

A few hours later, The army of Sand was gathered on the hill facing opposite of Hamville. Hidan stood up front with his scythe in one hand and the other hand resting on his hip. Shikamaru looked around at the huge army. "This town doesn't stand a chance..." He mumbled.

"Okay, guys!" Hidan yelled from up front. "Don't leave a building standing! This town produces the meat this kingdom uses to feed it's army. Even though it's small, this town going down will be a big blow to their morale and their stomachs!" With that, the rest of the army gave a triumphant yell. Hidan stood at the very top of the hill and looked down. He chuckled then held his scythe in the air. "CHARGE!" He shouted. Like ordered, the Sand army ran up over the hill and into the poor unsuspecting town. Shikamaru had no choice but to go into the town with the army.

He saw terrible things. Not only were the soldiers burning down every building in sight, but they were killing the men in front of the men's children and taking the women and children hostage and torturing them in ways so gruesome that I don't want to elaborate. Shikamaru partially hoped Naruto had gotten out of the town before it was destroyed by these barbarians. Within 20 minutes, the town was in ruins with bodies and innards strewn throughout the streets. Hidan stood on top of a barely standing building with his scythe sticking through the concrete he was perched on. "Very good, you guys." He jumped off the roof and the building collapsed. "Now we enact the second stage of my genius plan! Move out...THAT way!" He pointed over the hill they came from. He ran towards it and everyone followed. Shikamaru was baffled. What the hell was Hidan thinking? Trashing a town and booking it? Huh?

"What's going on?" Choji asked.

"I have no clue." Shikamaru said.

Once they arrived at the former site of the camp, Hidan spun around. "YES! We will now book it back to Sand country." This sent gasps throughout the army. "Don't gasp at me, maggots!" Hidan yelled. He coughed and continued. "Listen to my plan. I'm confusing the Leaf country by destroying this town and retreating. While we're in the Sand country again, we will search for the mythical..." He paused. "Shukaku demon!" Shikamaru gasped. Everyone else looked around confused. "Yes, the Shukaku! The demon with one tail! It is a destructive beast of unlimited power! We will catch it and take it to the Witch of Black Forest. There, she will use her dark magic to make me the host of this demon! Then I will have the power to single-handedly rule the world!" He laughed maniacally and Shikamaru nearly fainted. So the Shukaku was real in this world. Something had to be done immediately.

* * *

Hidan's army was well on it's way into the Sand country when the sun started going down. "Well, I guess it's time to be settling down, guys." Hidan commanded. He stopped the caravan and set up his tent before talking to the whole army on his apparent travel-sized pedestal. "Now we're only a few hours away from the Shukaku demon's lair. Since we're gonna be fighting the thing, you'll all need to be in great form. Now set up the tents and I'll see you tomorrow." With that, he and his pedestal disappeared into his tent. Shikamaru and Choji happened to find a spare tent lying around during their siege of Hamville and pitched it relatively quickly. They had no choice but to share though, and made their own mat beds on either side of the tent. **(Get your mind out of the gutter, yaoi fans!) **When Shikamaru was sure no one could hear, he spoke to Choji.

"Psst, Choji." He said. "You awake?"

"Yeah, what's up?" Choji responded.

"I, uh, need to let you know something." Shikamaru said, preparing to be labeled as a wack-job.

"Yeah?"

"I'm not actually..." Shikamaru paused. "You see, I'm not...from this...uhm, I guess you can say...time period?"

"Huh?"

"No, well... I'm not actually...FROM this time, dimension, whatever you call it. Where I'm from, I'm a ninja." Shikamaru finally managed.

"A ninja?" Choji asked.

"Yeah, like, a stealthy knight who assassinates instead of fighting dragons."

"Hahaha!" Choji laughed. "You think knights actually fight dragons? I know you're not from this dimension, for sure."

"Um, what?" Shikamaru asked.

"Dragons actually live on their own. They don't bother us, we don't bother them." Choji explained.

"Oh..." Shikaamru said. "And, you're not surprised I'm not from here?"

"Nope." Choji said frankly. "We get reports like that all the time. People from different dimensions, aliens, even! And it's always the doing of the Witch of Black Forest."

Shikamaru recognized the name. "Witch of Black Forest?"

"Yup." Choji said. "She's a witch and she lives in the forest of darkness. It's a forest nestled on the border between the Sand kingdom and the Leaf kingdom. No one's ever seen her, though. But she might have the answers you're looking for."

"Hm, thanks, Choji." Shikamaru said.

"Anytime, man. Now get some rest. You'll need your energy for tomorrow." Choji said settling in.

Shikamaru lay his head down and instantly fell asleep, which brought the return of the Trix Cup.

* * *

In his dream, Shikamaru was standing in his Trix Cup world again. He heard faint muttering that he couldn't make out. Then he saw a shadow form against the psycho-delic swirls of his Trix Cup. It took a second, but he realized the shadow was a woman's silhouette. "...Witch of Black Forest?" He asked.

He heard a very faint _Yes._

"Wh-what am I doing here?" He asked.

_Come see me after defeating Hidan. All will be explained then._ The shadow said faintly.

"No." Shikamaru insisted. "I want answers now."

The shadow chuckled. _Be patient, young ninja. You'll be fine. You have a bigger role in this universe than you know._

"Ugh, fine." Shikamaru said. The Trix Cup dream disappeared and Shikamaru was laying in his cot at the Sand camp again. Choji was looking down at him.

"Wake up, dude." He said. "Hidan says we're moving out. The Shukaku stirs."

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**A/N: And so there you have it, chapter 4 of Once Upon a Huh. I thought I would have more fun destroying Hamville for some reason... But whatever. Review, do something that tells me people actually enjoy my writing, and I'll give you a cookie. A virtual cookie of course. See ya next chapter!**


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